Falling In Love Again

I've haven't advised or treated a patient for over a year. Recently, my husband has been pestering me to start working. Sabi niya kinakalawang na daw ako. Ayaw niyang masayang yung mga pinag-aralan ko. When we have medical discussions, there are times when I have to take a moment before I understand what he says and I'd think, ooooh I'm in deep trouble. Insecurities have taken root.

Eventually, hubby's pestering worked and both of us were scheduled for a 24-hour ER duty in St. Martin's Maternal and Pediatric Hospital in Cavite last Saturday. I tried to pump milk 3 days beforehand but to my dismay, I was only able to get 6oz. This was only good enough for 1 to 2 feedings. And he usually goes on a hunger strike when I leave him and only his milk formula is available. Malakas lang loob kong iwan siya kasi kumakain na ng ibang pagkain. Kaya lang hindi pala sapat etong lakas ng loob ko...

On the day that we were about to leave, I nursed him for the last time. And I couldn't stop the tears. Ang hirap! Especially since he developed a cold. Kung puwede lang umatras e aatras ako. Nakakahiya mang aminin e umiiyak pa din ako habang bumibiyahe kami sa Aurora Boulevard. Hindi naman hagulgol, tumutulo lang naman luha ko.

Eventually, the tears stopped. When we got to the hospital, hubby toured me around (siya kasi ang affiliated sa hospital na yun). And when we started working, JT was pushed to the back of my mind.

For the first several hours, hubby took most of the work. He gave me time to adjust to my surroundings and also from being apart from JT for the longest period ever. Eventually, I started noticing things, like how quick and efficient he works, how clearly he explains every detail to his patients, how he puts them at ease, and just how darned smart he was. This was the first time we've worked side by side and I was thrilled to see him in action. This was a new side of him and I love it! Let me just say that I feel smug and satisfied with the man I married.

With his help, I slowly regained confidence. By the following day I was confident enough to let him leave me alone to manage patients. I can't wait for the next time!

As for JT, well, apparently he didn't miss us. We left him with my mama and she said that he was very cooperative, didn't give her any trouble, and hardly cried at all. When we came back, it was as if we haven't left.

JT and his Atopic Dermatitis

JT was almost 2 months old when facial rashes appeared. We thought they were just normally occurring pimples that we usually see on most babies. So we just observed. And we grew apprehensive when instead of disappearing it slowly worsened, started to spread downward. Mahirap tanggapin na may sakit ang anak namin. As doctors (my husband is a doctor, too), we're especially sensitive about this, kasi feeling namin baka na-prevent namin, kahit alam namin hindi namin kasalanan. Andun yung feeling na, kahit sa tagal ng pag-aaral at training namin, pagdating sa sakit ng anak namin, helpless kami.

JT has atopic dermatitis. There is no known cause. And this is usually inherited (atopy means diseases that are inherited). It doesn't necessarily mean that anyone in our family should have this disease, having any type of allergic disease (bronchial asthma, food allergy, allergic rhinitis, etc.) in one side of the family is enough. In our case, there is bronchial asthma on both sides, and different kinds of allergies on my side. So no wonder JT has it.

And because he has dermatitis (or skin inflammation), he abnormally and easily reacts to irritants like dust, smoke, sweat, cold, allergens from food, clothes washed with strong soaps or detergents. Talagang walang panalo no? He'd then present with rashes or dry, flaky, itchy skin. Though JT can't complain verbally yet, we know he's itchy because he's so irritable and he keeps rubbing his face on whatever surface he comes in contact with. Good thing JT's condition is mild and there are times when his skin clears and goes back to its baby pink and white smoothness.

One time, after his check-up with his pediatrician, we brought him to a playground. Para naman hindi siya parating nasa bahay lang. It turned out that the dust was too much for him, and his dermatitis flared-up, from head to trunk. Even if this was expected, even if I knew that the rashes recur, it still hurts to see him that way. Walang magulang na gustong naghihirap ang anak nila, kahit gaano kababaw man yun. So, salamat sa mga kamaganak at kaibigan na nakaintindi kung hindi namin masyado nilalabas si JT, lalo na nung mga unang buwan niya, na nagpasensiya sa aming pagiging "overprotective," at sa suporta.

Can this be cured? No. Flare-ups can only be prevented by avoiding the irritants, good hygiene, and daily moisturizing (with his "gintong" lotion, Php 634/50 ml which last for 9-12 days). For the itchiness, I give him Virlix drops.

On top of this, we discovered that he has cow's milk allergy. So he can't take ordinary formulas. Even the hypoallergenic ones like Nan. So aside from his gintong lotion, he also has his Alfare a.k.a. gintong milk which costs Php 1,180 per 400gms. Thank God I'm breastfeeding.

A picture of me breastfeeding outside the pediatrician's office. Thanks to Lilymoms breastfeeding wrap, I could feed JT stylishly even in public

Atopic dermatitis is a chronic condition. But sometimes, some patients outgrow it. I hope JT will be one of the lucky ones. Inspite of this, I'm still thankful to God, that JT has no problem with his five senses, his limbs are complete, his disease is not terminal and it can be managed.