Falling In Love Again

I've haven't advised or treated a patient for over a year. Recently, my husband has been pestering me to start working. Sabi niya kinakalawang na daw ako. Ayaw niyang masayang yung mga pinag-aralan ko. When we have medical discussions, there are times when I have to take a moment before I understand what he says and I'd think, ooooh I'm in deep trouble. Insecurities have taken root.

Eventually, hubby's pestering worked and both of us were scheduled for a 24-hour ER duty in St. Martin's Maternal and Pediatric Hospital in Cavite last Saturday. I tried to pump milk 3 days beforehand but to my dismay, I was only able to get 6oz. This was only good enough for 1 to 2 feedings. And he usually goes on a hunger strike when I leave him and only his milk formula is available. Malakas lang loob kong iwan siya kasi kumakain na ng ibang pagkain. Kaya lang hindi pala sapat etong lakas ng loob ko...

On the day that we were about to leave, I nursed him for the last time. And I couldn't stop the tears. Ang hirap! Especially since he developed a cold. Kung puwede lang umatras e aatras ako. Nakakahiya mang aminin e umiiyak pa din ako habang bumibiyahe kami sa Aurora Boulevard. Hindi naman hagulgol, tumutulo lang naman luha ko.

Eventually, the tears stopped. When we got to the hospital, hubby toured me around (siya kasi ang affiliated sa hospital na yun). And when we started working, JT was pushed to the back of my mind.

For the first several hours, hubby took most of the work. He gave me time to adjust to my surroundings and also from being apart from JT for the longest period ever. Eventually, I started noticing things, like how quick and efficient he works, how clearly he explains every detail to his patients, how he puts them at ease, and just how darned smart he was. This was the first time we've worked side by side and I was thrilled to see him in action. This was a new side of him and I love it! Let me just say that I feel smug and satisfied with the man I married.

With his help, I slowly regained confidence. By the following day I was confident enough to let him leave me alone to manage patients. I can't wait for the next time!

As for JT, well, apparently he didn't miss us. We left him with my mama and she said that he was very cooperative, didn't give her any trouble, and hardly cried at all. When we came back, it was as if we haven't left.

Before I Was A Mom

Thanks Bambie for this great tag! :) To everyone, feel free to do this tag! :)

Before I was a Mom -

I slept as late as I wanted and as long as I wanted. I didn't have a routine and I didn't have anyone depending on me. My time was mine.

Before I was a Mom -

I only shopped for myself. Now I rarely shop for myself.
I never had to worry about outgrown baby clothes and shoes, buying enough towels, sterlizings baby bottles, a baby-friendly room, what appropriate baby toys to buy.

Before I was a Mom -

I've never been (in order of appearance, LOL) spit on, puked on, pooped on, peed on. I've never had to worry about having spare clothes in the event that the aforementioned happens.

Before I was a Mom -

I've never smiled after being on a 24 hour duty at the hospital. Having JT is like taking care of a VIP patient where I've had to wake every 2 hours to nurse him, groggily change clothes after being puked on, peed on, or pooped on in the wee hours of the morning, look after him when we wants to play or talk or cuddle at 2a.m. AND still make me smile when he wakes me up at 5a.m.

Before I was a Mom -

I've never blushed because I had to nurse in public, wearing a moving (he wiggles a lot) nursing poncho for privacy and receiving stares.

Before I was a Mom -

I'd like to quote Bambi since she has described exactly and perfectly how I feel:

"I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life
so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known The warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache, The wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom."

Send this to someone whom you think is a special Mom...

And remember that behind every successful woman......
is a basket of dirty laundry.

-Unknown

Baby Steps

Age: 7 months, 11 days

Today was JT's vaccine day. It was his last shot for the pneumococcal series. Yey! So far, this series was the most expensive. But still, we believe that it's an investment. Mas mapapamahal kung ma-hohospitalize siya, di ba? Anyway, after his vaccine (he was still very cooperative, he just cried for a few seconds), we went to a baby store to look for a walker. We noticed that for the past few days, JT has started pulling himself upward. And he's usually pushing himself away from the one carrying him. Para bang gusto niya nang maglakad. Unfortunately, when we went inside the store, there was only one kind of walker for a baby boy. Nakakainis nga kasi, there were 4 choices for the girls. Wala naman kaming magawa, kaya pinasubukan na lang namin kay JT. He loved it! At first, he was engrossed with the toys attached in front of the walker. Maingay kasi pag ginagalaw. After several minutes, he was going forward then backward. As if he was just waiting for us to put him in a walker so he can walk! Naku, baka ayaw na nitong magpabuhat.

**For some reason, hindi ako makapag-upload dito sa blogspot. You can visit our multiply site for the pictures:
http://sherwinche.multiply.com/photos/album/58;
and video:
http://sherwinche.multiply.com/video/item/24/Baby_Steps_Video

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